25 Nov How To Navigate The Grief Of Miscarriage
Miscarriage is devastating and can take its toll both physically and emotionally. But with this advice, you – and your partner – can emerge stronger than ever.
Expect An Emotional Roller Coaster After Miscarriage
The highs of discovering a positive pregnancy test will seem a distant memory to those facing the heartbreak of miscarriage. However, these feelings of grief are normal and it’s important you don’t try to minimise them. Instead, surround yourself with supportive friends. And share your feelings openly with your partner. This approach can help you both heal, rather than trying to protect each other.
Grow Through Grief Together
The stages of grief through miscarriage, mirror those of most situations of loss: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
If you are struggling with overwhelming feelings of sadness, and acknowledgement of your reality, it may be time to consider counselling – particularly if the challenges are affecting your relationship with your partner.
While miscarriage may strengthen the love between couples bound by the common loss, others find their union suffers. In these instances, couples counselling offers the opportunity to address and educate both parties on the range of emotions the other may be processing. These include anger, frustration, sadness, and guilt. At my clinic, we offer counselling with highly accredited and compassionate therapists.
A healthy Approach To Healing
As with traditional cases of death, different individuals may adopt different coping mechanisms to numb their pain. Regular overconsumption of alcohol, abuse of substances, or even excessive exercising and work are relatively common approaches for avoiding reality, but they are bordering on dangerous and unsafe behaviour patterns. Healthier habits will better serve your long-term physical and emotional wellbeing. Consider taking up yoga, swimming or any gentle exercise. Make the effort to shower and get dressed. Let your friends convince you to join them for lunch. Or indulge in a little retail therapy (avoiding the baby’s department).
By re-establishing routines that mirror your life pre-miscarriage, you empower yourself to move past your tragedy and get your life back on track in due time.
Remembrance and Recovering
To honour your lost loved one – and specifically, the future that you had prepared for – consider investing in a physical reminder of your experience. Although a funeral is not a legal obligation after a miscarriage, you may choose to mark the loss of your baby with a burial and headstone. Some local councils also offer the opportunity to purchase and place plaques honouring loved ones passed in public locations. For a sweet sentimental touch, perhaps you might consider purchasing a keepsake for your lost little love in the form of a charm bracelet or necklace.
There is no right or wrong way to mourn following a miscarriage. But by drawing on the resources available, you and your partner can discover the inner strength you need to move beyond your grief and build a hopeful future together. Including trying for another child, based on the advice of your health professional.
